The Driver’s Seat of Your Life

Do you ever feel like you aren’t in control of your life? Do you stifle yourself because you don’t want to “rock the boat”? Do you continually tap down your deepest desires because others have told you, “that is impossible”? Do you give your power away to appease others because you fear confrontation?

If so, how’s that going for you?

Many of us have relinquished control of our lives because we don’t trust or believe in ourselves. It is as if we are not in the driver’s seat of our life. Are you one of those people? If you are, you are not alone. Many of us have forgotten who we are so much so that our dreams and desires have slipped away.

How would you like to take back your power and sit in the driver seat of your life?

Here’s how you can begin taking ownership of your life again by using your mind and listening to that part of you that wants to be back in the driver’s seat. Here are five steps you can take that will change your life.

Step 1:  Become the observer of you.

The best way to change our self-concept is by observing what causes us to lose our power. Be aware when feelings of inferiority or insecurity arise and pay attention to what is going on around you or inside of you that is causing those feelings. Once you start becoming aware of situations, people and/or thoughts that cause you to feel powerless, you can begin the journey of self-awareness and discover the erroneous beliefs that do not reflect the truth about you so you can change those thoughts.

Step 2:   Remember Who You Are

When we give our power away, it is because we don’t believe in ourselves. We think we aren’t good enough, that we don’t make good decisions, and simply don’t have self-trust. These beliefs come from our conditioning, and we have forgotten that we are divine beings. As Ernest Holmes says:

“Your soul belongs to the universe. Your mind is an outlet through which the Creative Intelligence of the universe seeks fulfillment.”

We are all amazing individualized expressions of Spirit, and we live in a field of unlimited possibilities that are always present. We are the creators of our life. Knowing that, how can you ever think that you aren’t worthy of the most wonderful, fulfilling life?

Step 3:  Use Affirmations

Affirmations are a great tool for building self-esteem. They work by feeding affirmative beliefs into the subconscious which, when repeated multiple times a day for a few weeks, will become your new belief. Before you know it, you will have the self-confidence that will keep you in the driver’s seat for the rest of your life. No more sitting in the passenger seat for you!

Step 4:  Visualization

There is growing evidence that proves the power of the imagination in creating our reality. Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about having a “dress rehearsal” in your mind where you spend time visualizing your desired reality. Take some time everyday visualizing what it would look and feel like if you were completely living in your power. Picture yourself in the driver’s seat and feel what that feels like. When you do this, your energy will be vibrating at a certain frequency that not only grows the more you do it, but you will be sending a signal to the universe which will bring all that you desire into your reality.

Step 5:  Make a commitment to your empowerment and be willing to change

Whenever we commit to expanding ourselves, change follows. Old habits are very comfortable even though they limit us. It is important to know how the mind may react when we make the decision to change our beliefs so we can meet any discomfort that may arise. Our mind might rebel and convince us that we can’t make the change, or tell us that isn’t who we really are, and that can completely sabotage our efforts to create a better life for ourselves.

What to do? Stand up to your mind!

First, know that it is just reacting to change. The mind prefers status quo, so it can’t help but try to convince you to put the brakes on.

Next, thank your mind for trying to keep you safe, but you’ve got this.

Last, move through the discomfort – you will get to the other side, and be powerful you!

We are all meant to live extraordinary lives, and if we are not, we owe it to ourselves to find our power and get back into the driver’s seat of our lives. When we clean up our minds and start seeing the possibilities that await us, we can drive into the greatest life ever.

Rev. Dale Olansky

Rev. Dale Olansky is a licensed minister through Emerson Theological Institute and currently serves as Lead Practitioner at Spiritual Center of the Desert in Palm Desert, California. She teaches classes and co-facilitates Spirit of Women. Rev. Dale has built her own spiritual counseling practice and works with individuals and couples and leads women’s retreats. She is a published author, and her inspirational book, “Fear to Faith: A Daily Guide to Finding Solace in an Uncertain World” can be purchased through Amazon. Rev. Dale can be reached at